but i need to get some shit out of my head. so this is gonna be the most random post over, but i dgaf. i need to get this out somehow.
am i really a homewrecker? did i really kiss him, knowing he had a girl? hes been confiding in me, and we’ve been friends for a while. but why did i let that happen? it was amazing, and i felt much more than i should have about it. i cant stop thinking about it. sweet jesus, fuck. ugh. i feel guilty. but i liked it.
i hate commitment though. i cant stand it. yet, im not a whore. i cant give myself to someone. i guess im too scared of being tossed back. ive been so close to relationships in the last year, and i get hurt or i dont feel anything relatively close to love. i think too much like a man. i just wanna be close with people, without strings. not even sexually. but when it comes down to relationships and love, ill know when its right. until then, i just wanna have fun. is that so bad ? apparently so. people are so touchy with this shit. teenagers these days make it seem like theyll be with their highschool sweetheart FOREVER. uh sike, im sure 95% of you wont make it past the first year of college. stfu. ugh.
i cant wait for life to really start. im working soon, im gonna be in college, hopefully pharmacy technology. it hasnt really hit me that in a month i wont be at dv. and i wont ever have to see his face again. ugh. i really wanted to be positive about this, but im too immature when it comes to revenge. you fucking suck. i could swing at your testicles with my high heels on and not even care about the resulting image or functionality of them. i cant STAND you. shes changed you, and i notice it so much. i know you. i always have. and this person im seeing, isnt you. and it PISSES ME OFF to think this bitch of a girl is getting you to do exactly what she wants. shes got you on a fckin leash. its pathetic and it makes me fucking sick.
jesus, i need to do my hair, or im gonna explode right now. but it feels so nice to get this out <3
